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Hello loyal Newsthingy fans! Welcome back to another exciting edition of The Newsthingy Online. Issue #8 is now available at various locations around the seacoast of New England, and we are pleased to present every single word to you with high definition laser prints.
Each issue is hand crafted from the finest paper stock available at less than $3.00 a ream. The pages are printed collated, and folded with precision with a patented Newsthingy folding method. Assembly of each issue is carefully monitored by multiple Newsthingy staff members to ensure they pages are in correct order, thus creating the best possible end result. Delivery of the issues is set up with local establishments maintaining strict observation of open hours at each of the vending locations. With all of these checks and balances kept in place, the Newsthingy is available to the faithful readers at no cost whatsoever, except perhaps the time it takes to read it.
So run to your nearest vending location and grab at least one issue, this one would be for yourself, and additional issues if you know someone who may be in need of a laugh. Enjoy our latest example of printed silliness and keep on sending us those submission. Don’t think the submission page is working? Well try it again ... it should be now. If not, send the fodder to info@thenewsthingy.com We will be happy to accept all submissions sent for review, and selected clean, funny, witty, non political, non racial, non religious content will appear on our first open page. Have a photo or drawing you want to send? E-mail that too ... obviously the scan of the photo or drawing, since you can’t E-mail a physical object - yet.
Enjoy your Fall/Winter issue and be safe in this cold, stormy weather.
NEWSTHINGY MAILING LIST!
In an effort to create a loyal reader base, we at the Newsthingy would like to extend to you a free subscription to our paper. I know this must seem a little weird, seeing as though our paper is free, but this special offer will also include free delivery of the Newsthingy right to your door. No more hunting around looking for the newest issue in stores. You now will be informed of the latest issue’s release date... by its arrival at your doorstep!
Fill out the form below, offering us your Name, Address, City, State, Zip, and E-mail and we will include you on our subscription list. This offer is extended to you for a limited time. The subscription isn’t forever, but it certainly will be for more than one issue, and less than one billion.
We promise we will not spam your inbox with bad E-mails nor will we sell your information to any companies. Our collection of names and addresses is strictly used as a mailing list for this newspaper only.
Thanks again for your support.
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